a year of change

It is amazing how much a single person can change in one single year. As I have experienced this past year. Looking to this Christmas I think of last year and the things I was going through at the time. I was seriously depressed yet trying to maintain a relationship with someone that was also depressed. We both worked through it and are still together now. He has even come to visit me from England this summer and currently so he is here for Christmas. I'm not so worried about things that I can't change. I try to handle the things that I know will be hard in a better way. I am back at school and working toward a degree in ceramics. A BFA in Ceramics to be precise. I love the work that I'm doing in class. I love what I am able to accomplish with my hands. I'm going to be taking a throwing class in the next semester and am looking forward to that challenge. I never thought that I would get to this point in my life where I can say that while I'm not totally happy with everything I am very happy with almost everything. :) I have a very loving boyfriend who is a very special man. I have wonderful family members that are very encouraging with my return to school and the challenges that I'm facing with my apartment situation. I have wonderful friends old and new that are just a bundle of laughs. I have the joy of knowing that I am bringing happiness to my sweet-heart when he is feeling down. I know that I'm making my brothers happy when I'm going to classes and achieving the goals set for myself. I just am content right now. Though I would be ecstatic if I could find a roommate and not have to move out of the apartment that I am in. But that doesn't look like it is going to happen. So I'm looking into alternatives since to get some of my fin. aid I have to live on campus and I need to anyway to be close to the school and the departments that I need. I watched the movie Julie and Julia last night with my sweetie and mom and it just made me smile. It was a fab movie and made me sort of wish that I had thought of it first. LOL ah well I do hope that some day I can get the cook book of Mastering the Art of French Cooking. The food all looked so wonderful in the movie. Here is to the joy of eating and the joy of making good things for others to enjoy eating.

I hope everyone has a Very Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New Year.

And the winner is...!

I am so excited! Today we had a in class critique for the bracelets we have been working on for a while, this is in my jewelry & metalsmithing class. There were seven of us that had our pieces finished for the critique and we had to vote on three that would go into the display case to represent our class. And to my shock and amazement one of the ones chosen was MINE! It was amazing and something that I didn't expect at all. The teacher pointed out different areas I could have done better and there were areas that I agreed with him about but for my classmates to like it so much to vote for it amazed me. But like all my art pieces I could see where I could do better in all of them. It is simply the way I am I always see where i could improve and not how good something looks on its own. Ah well. Now on to designing my ring. And figuring out the classes that I want to take next semester. Sadly Jewelry II is at the same time as Ceramics II so I won't be able to do both but there is a Black and White Photography II course. I'm going to stop in and speak to the professor at some point to find out if I can get in since I took some Black and White Photography at NP but it has been a few years since I did so hence why I want to take the B&WII course instead of just jumping into the Color Photography course. Well time to go and get ready for my next class. Hopefully this week will continue to go as well as the beginning of the day has.

A fresh fall

Hey there everyone. It is the first of November and it is a beautiful start. Fresh apple cider with a drizzle of caramel syrup brings a warm feeling just as the smell of fallen leaves and the crisp sound of the same leaves crunching under your feet. It brings back memories of Edward Apple Orchard and jumping in large piles of leaves with my brothers. The digging out of our winter clothes and getting ready for the really chilly weather. Up here in Northern Minnesota that comes sooner than it did in my hometown in Illinois but I don't care. It is still wonderful. I had a few kids at my apartment last night trick 'r treating and I even dressed up sorta for them. I had on cat ears and a spotted shirt with whiskers and a little black nose drawn on my face. It was amusing. Yes even at 26 I still dress up for halloween, mostly it is to answer the door. It is something that has been done in my family for a long time. My mom used to do it when my brothers and I were little but the one that I think of the most for doing it are my mom's parents. Every year they answered the door in costume. And that I lost my grandma on that side a few years ago in October makes it a bittersweet memory for me to honor her by dressing up in costume for the kiddies that come to the door. Anyway I'm getting by at school. And soon will have a roommate. Have to make plans for Thanksgiving since my parents will be gone but something will come to mind I'm sure. Talk to you all later...oh and here are a few photos of me as a pussy cat...not the best photos but still.

blessings

Hello everyone. I just had an amazing experience. I am currently sitting at the UND Internet Cafe and was just blessed by two young women that came up to me. They are wonderful and kind. They were even willing to pray with me. It was wonderful. I am still trying to find roommates, hopefully it will happen soon. I'm also still trying to find a campus work study job and figure out everything that I need to do so that I don't have outrages charges. I miss my family but it is still good. Today has been wonderful other than a little sickness I've been able to get a lot of things done. I hope that everyone has a blessing flow over them today or sometime this week.

New Year of School

Classes start on Monday at UND and I will be attending 7credits worth of courses. Which means I will be taking 3 classes. I also find out on Monday if I have gotten a job at the Art Museum that is on Campus. It will be wonderful if I get it and I am hoping I get it because I would like to have a job at a museum in the end after I finish while I try to get a business up and going. I just need to find a fellow UND female student to share the apartment that I will be getting. Move in day for that is estimated as the 31st of this month since that is when the apartment they can get me becomes available. I have a lot of the things that I need for it but the two things I need most are pots and pans and lamps. A computer would be great as well, especially one with a webcam so that I can talk to my sweetie, but that is a secondary instead of primary. Pray for me that things go well and I can find a good roomie. Got to go take care of some things.

A new beginning!

Hey there everyone! A new Beginning starts this month! On the 24th of Aug I will be returning to classes! I am going to be attending UND part time to try and finish my degree. I am looking on getting to live on campus. Pray for me on that part. I have a chance to become an RA of a campus apartment if I get the job. Pray about that I would love to have that job. Not only would it be great for me at being part time but it also would provide an apartment for me with a rent waiver.

In other news I raised and even $400 for the Great American Bake Sale. Double what I had set as my goal! WHOO! I also had tons of baked goods left over so am sending them to the police headquarters tomorrow for the officers to enjoy. Anyway I have things that will need to be done tomorrow morning so I better get off to bed. Good night everyone or Good Morning depending whereever you live. Take care.

The past month

I've been told that I should have made this post a long time ago. But things have been so crazy it has passed by as if I was only just saying goodbye to my sweetie. A month ago He arrived for a visit. And then after two weeks he had to return home to England. I miss him a lot but it was so wonderful to have him here. He was wonderful to me and my parents and my mom and dad fell in love with him as well. The day he arrived it was a wonderful day. Things were sweet and too short. He spoiled me, as well as my parents. It was wonderful to get up each day and hear that English Accent. Ah man is that sweet to hear. He loves me and that is the best part of everything. We talk on Sat. on webcam, though that has only happened once since he left because I went to my cousin's wedding. It was a beautiful wedding and reception. First time I've been to an outdoor wedding. I got to see so many of my family that it was just peaceful though I still missed my sweetie. We watched movies, he doesn't like Princess Bride but doesn't mind Sleepless in Seattle or Mama Mia. We went to Fargo, ND for shopping as well as Grand Forks, ND for more shopping. He even got to tour the Grand Forks Air Force Base while my Uncle and his fam were still here. The day he left my parents went for four days to Bluewater Covenant Bible Camp where my dad was speaking to 5th and 6th graders. So I went to the Air Force Base to hang out with my friend Meri and my Uncle and his fam. I went to see musicals so much that my sweetie asked with the last movie we watched together, "it's not a musical is it?". But it was simply because my cousins were performing with SPA and were going to be moving the same week that he left to return home. Three days after he left I went to see the last musical for SPA's summer season and then had to say goodbye to my Uncle, Aunt, and Cousins the next day as they moved from North Dakota to Alabama. I miss them all a lot. I am planning on heading back to school on the 24th of this month if things work out. I'm praying for financial aid and a job. I have an interview on Thursday the 13th for a position as a University Apartment Resident Manager, which would pay $315/mo plus a rent waiver for the designated apartment. As well as phone and DSL service. It would be a good job for me. This week I'm busy like crazy because on Friday I'm hosting a Bake Sale for Share our Strength. To help fight childhood hunger in America. The day is coming fast on me but that is alright. I know things will work out. I'm baking every day this week so things are nice and fresh for the sale. I'm also having a raffle with the bake sale so I've been going around and getting donations or asking for donations. Now it is time for me to get off of here and get some sleep so that I can do more baking tomorrow. I definately need to take a hot shower and some pain killer to loosen my muscles, perhaps even the heat pack will be put into use. I hope everyone has a good week. Pray that things go well for me this week and that I don't crash. God Bless!

'SYTYCD' Top 8: Melissa & Ade's Contemporary Performance @ Y! TV


Please watch

Crying

I have a wonderful family and a wonderful boyfriend. Too bad both had to leave this week. My boyfriend left on Monday to return to England and work and my parents headed for four days to a bible camp for my dad to speak to the kids. THen today when they returned my Uncle and his fam all moved off on their next adventure heading to live in Alabama for a year before a new base. There was a lot of crying this week as things happened. Lots of lost sleep and little comfort. THough my wonderful friend at the base near here that my aunt introduced me too helped me on monday and last night I got to hang out with my uncle and his fam for a wonderful SPA proformance of DAMN YANKEES! Spa does such a great job with every musical that they put on that I have yet to see one that doesn't blow me away but last night was a very moving proformance because it was the very last one that the seniors and my cousin were in.

In other news I'm hosting a bake sale in August to raise money to help fight childhood hunger in America. I thought that it was a great cause so I decided to help out. Can go to strength.org or greatamericabakesale.org take a look and maybe you can do something in your area. Well going to go work on some writing.

life continues

Hey everybody! I hope that you have all had a good weekend. I hope that your new week goes well. I've had a good run the past few days. Well yesterday and today, after two rough nights, I was able to get things done both outside and in. I have gifts air drying for firing for the two weddings coming up this summer for cousins. I have all the things that I need and am praying for things that I want to happen. Tomorrow I find out if my sweetie will be able to come to the USA for a visit. *fingers crossed* I will love it if he can. I have never met him in person but he is such a great man and I love him dearly. My middle brother went to the Bahamas with his wife last week. SO JEALOUS!! I'm glad that they had that time and that my family here had the time to see my other brother and his family as well as my remaining grandparents. I love them all. But having the quiet back is sort of nice. :) I thank God everyday for the family that I have and hope that I will some day be able to start my own family and pass on the traditions that I have learned.

On another note I have been diagnosed with Rosacea. Not a fun thing to deal with but God does not give me more than I can handle. And I try to live by a thing I have taped to my wall. 'Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh crap she's up!"' May I always live that way. And may I have the love given to me that my parents enjoy and have for the past 32 years, as of June 11th. And the love that my grandparents have celebrated of over 50 and 60 years of marriage. That love is what I want for my life and God will provide if that is in my future. Love to all of you and may God bless you in some big way this week.

A very exciting week is coming!!

Hello my friends! Starting tomorrow my family is going to be BUSY!!! My oldest brother and his family, my mom's dad, and my dad's parents are all converging on us for a visit. The only thing that is going to be missing is my middle brother and his wife. But they are going to the BAHAMAS! So jealous but glad for them at the same time. This is going to be a great week. Also this past week I had my first custom order placed on my etsy.com site! YAY! It came about because of a cancellation of another order that had been placed my first order canceled their order on me how sad is that! But because of that I got another order for a custom mug for father's day! I know Dad's Day isn't until the 21st but to all those FAB DADS out there Happy Father's Day! I've been firing my ceramics kiln a lot and making all kinds of things. I will have to get them photographed and put them on my etsy site soon. I've just been so busy with everything else that making the time to get photos of my own stuff has fallen to the back burner. I'm taking photo's for a lady in our church who makes the cutest pins for every lady out there. Look at www.wiredladies.com and you will see what I mean. She is redoing her website and needs someone to take the pics for it. So she asked me! YAY for money! She is going to pay me by the hour I believe that I spend on taking the pics cropping them to size saving them and delivering them to her so that she can place them on her site. It takes a lot more effort than people would think Anyway need to go work on that a little then get ready for bed. Have a busy day tomorrow starting before my dr. appointment at 9:50am and going until I drop at night. But that is alright I like to stay busy when I can. Love you all! Take care and know that you are all in my prayers!

New start!

This is the beginning of a new start. Today I got up at 8:30am and I have stayed up since instead of going back to bed like I normally would have done. Now I am going to do my best to continue to do so each day. Also tomorrow I have an appointment for a 21-day fitness study at a local workout place. It is a trial program and if I don't continue after the 21-days I get my deposit back. So I'm going to try to get into shape. God help me do so! I also have an appointment next Tuesday at 1:30pm that is very important for me to attend. It is my hearing with a judge over my disability and hopefully with God's blessing the judge will grant me disability. If I get that I will get back-pay for the 2+ years I've been trying to get disability and be able to hopefully pay of UND so that I can return to school and finish a degree finally. So many, many prayers are needed there.

In other news this past Sat. I talked to my long-distance boyfriend for 5+ hours. He got a webcam and we were able talk face to face for the first time. I'm also in the process of getting a letter ready for the US ambassador to request a travel visa for my boyfriend, since he lives in the UK and would need a visa to come see me. He plans if things work out to come in July. My past roomie and one of my best friends is planning on coming to visit in June. I have a cousin getting married at the end of June. And I have my wonderful older brother, his wife, and two sons as well as my dad's parents coming for a visit at the beginning of June. Also if things work out at the end of this week my Uncle will be returning from overseas where he was performing his job of being an Air Force Chaplian in Irag. We will be very happy to have him home. Planning on making a nice big cheesecake for him or some sort of goodie that he would not have had much of overseas. I have missed him a lot though have gotten to talk a little to him through instant messaging. IM is a wonderful thing and how I usually talk to my boyfriend. In fact since he is six hours ahead of me we have to schedule time to talk. He is a wonderful man that is growing by leaps and bounds in Christ through very hard times. I admire him for his spirit and his intelligence. He is a great guy that I'm very happy to have found, even if I had to use eHarmony to do so. Nothing against eharm. it is just really expensive and it took three tries before I was successful. Well got to go work on art and take books back to the library. I hope everyone has a good rest of the week and weekend. And to all those mothers out there HAPPY EARLY MOTHERS DAY!!!!

Two weeks without a migraine and then one hits. Sigh...I was hoping that I wouldn't have any more but I guess that was a little too much to ask for. I slept all day and I'm still tired...probably because I slept all day. I am going to go...don't know what I'm going to do but I'm going to get away from the computer. Sorry this post is so short.

quick note

This is just a really quick note since it is 3:28am here. I am in the process of trying to sell my wedding dress from the wedding that never happened. I've had it for five years and it still has the tags on it. Never been altered. I decided to sell it because I seriously need the money to try to pay of UND whom I owe over $1500 to be able to get back into the school. I don't think I'm going to be able to attend the summer session unless God provides in a big big way. Which I am praying will happen. I know he is capable of such an act I'm just praying that if I'm meant to attend the summer session that something happens soon. So prayers are welcome! Love you all and am praying for you.

Enjoying the weekend!

This weekend has been wonderful. Not only did I celebrate my 26th birthday but I got to see my cousins as the performed in their last GCCC concert. For those that don't know GCCC is the Grand Cities Children's Choir. It is for children in 3rd - 9th grade. It is always amazing whenever we hear them sing. It can give chills. Now I am looking at the summer program for UND. I'm seriously concidering going back to school to finish a degree. I'm thinking of North Park or UND and living on campus. Either place I will live on campus so that I won't have to commute which is one of the things I believe that caused me to have to pull out of UND last time. Pray for me as I try to decide what to do. Also pray as the time comes closer to May 12th when I will have my disability hearing to find out if a judge will deem my case good enough. Pray that it will go as God wants it to go. Take care my friends. And may your week be blessed!

Easter Beauty

Easter is coming and after this past week I can see the beauty of the sacrifice that Jesus made. I have lately had a really rough time with things. My depression had gotten really bad. But instead of hospitalization my parents took me to a fellow pastor friend of my dad to be prayed over and it helped so much. It felt as if chains just fell from my soul and I was light and free again. I was smiling and laughing freely again. Something that I have to be honest and say I hadn't done in a long time. My creativity returned and I'm doing better about getting up at a decent time, actually before noon if you can believe that. :) Though I have to admit that mom comes in and opens my blinds to help me wake up by letting in the beautiful light. I've only had one migraine since last Sunday when I was prayed over and even then it wasn't a long one. I went to the communion service that was held tonight and the last song that we sang had such a new meaning to me after the healing.
"I will tell of the wondrous Story."

I will sing the wondrous story
Of the Christ Who died for me.
How He left His home in glory
For the cross of Calvary.

Refrain

Yes, I’ll sing the wondrous story
Of the Christ Who died for me,
Sing it with the saints in glory,
Gathered by the crystal sea.

I was lost, but Jesus found me,
Found the sheep that went astray,
Threw His loving arms around me,
Drew me back into His way.

Refrain

I was bruised, but Jesus healed me,
Faint was I from many a fall,
Sight was gone, and fears possessed me,
But He freed me from them all.

Refrain

Days of darkness still come o’er me,
Sorrow’s path I often tread,
But His presence still is with me;
By His guiding hand I’m led.

Refrain

He will keep me till the river
Rolls its waters at my feet;
Then He’ll bear me safely over,
Where the loved ones I shall meet.

Refrain

The words like always made me cry but more so in this service after my experience. I pray that your Easter will renew your awe over what Jesus did to save every single one of us. May God bless you all this weekend and the coming weeks.

My Shop is Up!

Yay! I can now say that I have a business online. Now I just need people to purchase things and I will be even happier. I have opened a shop on etsy.com and have 20 things there right now. I also talked to one of my friends today for over an hour. And came to realize with talking to her that I don't talk to my friends enough. To quote her she said that "do you mean that miss deanna anderson is actually alive?" jokingly of course but still. I will be doing better with that. Or so I plan. I still am uncomfortable actually making phone calls and perfer to talk online but even so I can send emails and I will do more of that as well. Anyway back to the shop if you want to look go to: dreamwriter.etsy.com and you will be able to see my site. Yay!

depression sucks

I've been having a really bad time yesterday and today with migraines and depression. But it is the depression that is pulling me down the most. I've been taking my med and even some extra of it lately because I've been feeling so blah. Today I haven't wanted to talk to anyone or do anything because I feel so depressed. I know that this is not good and am trying to work it out. Hence why I'm writing about it on here. I hate being depressed almost as much as I hate having migraines so often. I have an appointment on the 2nd with a neurologist to see if we can't find something to get rid of these migraines or at least control them to a better extent. Things have been up and down for me lately. I've had good days and I've had bad but yesterday and today have been the worst lately. Well I guess that I should go and try to get some sleep but from sleeping so late today i'm not really that tired...ah well.

Successful happenings

Hello everybody! It has been a good yet not so good time since I last wrote. I've had a lot of migraines that kept me from concentrating. But on the upside I was finally able to get my kiln tested and it worked wonderfully. So the next day I did a glaze firing for the first time in my own kiln. It was successful! Yay! *happy dance* I have a working kiln! *continues happy dance*

On another end I had a successful date on Sunday. I met a nice guy on a site called christianmingle.com and we met for lunch here in town and it went wonderfully. He is really sweet. I don't know where it is all going to go or anything but I enjoyed the time that I had.

I hope everyone has a great week. Take care and know that you are all in my prayers.

St. Patrick's Day

Happy Saint Patrick's Day everyone! May the Luck of the Irish be will you all! Memories of past St. Patty's day meals with my parents came up today. My mom wrote about them in her own blog. We would have green pancakes, green milk, and corned beef and cabbage. Today though we had a beef roast, boiled potatoes, and corn. No corned beef and definitely NO cabbage. PEWWWW! Cooking cabbage is so STINKY!!! It would always make me gag. LOL the green milk would make my oldest brother gag so that is funny memories. We would simply add a few drops of green food coloring to the milk or pancake batter. Fun memories. I miss those times sometimes. Well I'm going to work on some of my writing. Take care everyone!

Quotes

When I worked at the Campus Center Desk at North Park University I would have a competition going on with the desk manager to see who could come up with the best quote. Then today I looked at my brother and sister-in-love's blog and there was a quote of the day feature at the top of their blog and it brought back the memories of the laughs that I would have with my manager at topping each other if we could. Never truly had a winner. :) But thanks to my brother I now can have a quote of the day going on my own blog and instead of just a general one I went with something that is close to my heart. LOL I have an Art Quote of the day. After all Art is my passion and my gift in multiple forms. Take care everyone I'm going to go and spend the day out of the house enjoying the nearly 50 degree weather that we are having today. It looks as if spring is on its way.

fears...

I have come to realize that I have a fear when it comes to church. I have had so many things happen to me when I start to trust people in churches. The church that my dad is now a pastor of is a wonderful family but I have a fear that comes through when it is time to go to church. I am very claustrophobic in crowds and while there isn't much of a crowd at this church I still have issues with being in church. I also have the problem of feeling confined because I feel like I can't worship the way that I want to, arms raised in worship signing to the words I know things like that. I also feel like eyes are on me a lot because of how little I'm actually able to get to church. I know these aren't great reasons not to actually go to church but they are some of the few. I will be working on dealing with these things in the coming weeks and months but I ask that you my friends and family will pray for me in the dealing with this. I've been hurt so much at other churches that it makes me timid to open up at this one. Oh sure when I'm at church I'm all bubbly and talkative but for those that don't know it talking is my way of hiding my nerves. So pray for me that things will improve for me.

I'm trying to figure out what to do about my etsy site first I have to get some things made to put on it. But as soon as I do that I will have a shop. I pray that as soon as I have a shop that I get sales. THat is my prayer. We got the electrical connection fixed downstairs so I should be able to use my Kiln soon we just have to get it tested to make sure it works first. :) I'm so excited about having it work! Pray for me that things will work out and that I can get a business up and running.

Something to think on

I was reading my old journals last night and found an entry that I thought should be shared so here I am going to do so.

I begin this journal for my thoughts, hopes, dreams, and prayers. I write within these pages poems, psalms, stories, and mindless ramblings. Anything that fills my head I will write of it. Be it prayers or stories it matters not. My life like my writing has many twists and turns where sometimes I have no idea what is going to happen next. I've had many valleys on this journey called life and many seemingly passable mountains but through them all I've had my family, true friends, and most of all GOD to carry me through. My life has never been easy and most likely will remain that way during my remaining days. But I do not desire an easy life simply a life that I can live to the fullest and glorify GOD through. May seem off to many that I wouldn't desire an easy life after all the pain, physical and emotional, that I have had but it is true. I want a life that will allow me the chance to make a difference and leave a mark on society. A good mark where people remember me for WHO I worked so hard for and not what I wear, drive, eat, or look like. I want people to look at me and not see me but HIM. Obnoxious, some may think, far fetched, never going to happen? I say dream to be different. Strive to show the WAY. Hope in a better world. Serve for the world yet to come. Seek Heaven with all your heart. Know that HE loves everyone. Bring HIS light into the world. I've never really desired to fit in as much as I've desired to stand out for HIM. GOD made me what I am today and HE will continue to mold me into what HE desires me to be. When I meed HIM I want to hear the words "Well done good and faithful servant." As HE wraps me in HIS loving arms. I plan on finishing this race that is my life strong and I plan on helping as many as I can finish just as strong. And help them to also know the comforting words "Well done." That is my desire and it is what I will strive for with all my heart though the remaining stages of my lifes race.


That is what I wrote a few years ago and still today I desire the things that I wrote in that entry. I hope that everyone who reads this also desires that same thing. Look not to yourself or the world for praise but look to the ONE that created us for the simple words "well done." To receive those words the day I reach Heaven will be a wonderful thing and I hope that I make an impact on other lives so that they too can hear those words. You are all in my prayers and I hope that you all stop and think for a while on the words that I've written today and figure if you want them for yourself.

Trying to have a life...

Hello everyone...Being in the cold frozen tundra of upper Minnesota I'm trying to find something to do with my time that will let me get to know others my own age...hence instant messaging with people I have never met on a christian website and joining a chat room on the same site. Today I have talked to several gentlemen and had others decline to chat with me. But it has all been good to get to know others that live in and around this area. The guys that I've talked to are really nice and really funny at times. I've enjoyed my times of talking with them. It has been difficult though between migraines and upset stomach to focus on things other than my writing even my art has been put on hold but that will change! I SWEAR IT!!! I have to stay positive and believe that things will change or I will travel down into my depression again and that is not a place I want to go any time soon. Well my friends I've decided on many things that I want to try and some of them will take some time. But pray that the things that I am trying work out even if you don't know what those things are. :) Love you all!

Desperate prayers needed!!!

Hello everyone I know that I just posted a little bit ago but I just heard from one of my friends that her father is in need of serious prayer!! This is the message that my friend sent me: "My Dad goes in tomorrow morning (scheduled for 8A) for cardiac catheterization to try to open the 100% blockage. We pray that major surgery will be avoided. If it goes well and quickly, they will also do the 80% one; otherwise, that will be done another time.Please pray for healing and peace for my Dad, for wisdom and skill for the doctors; and for strength and peace for our family. Thank you." So for those of you that believe in the power of prayer please lift this family and this man in prayer.

Another week ahead

So another week has arrived and we are all still feeling kind of sick around the house. Mom and dad didn't go to small group because they both just felt too run down. Dad sounds worse than he says he is. So we all need prayers that we can get better fast. I've decided to try online dating again but this time I joined a cheaper site called christianmingle.com and already I've gotten more matches in my area than I ever did while on eharm. So I think it is a good site. I only have a month. Thank you mom and dad for paying for the first month!!! LOVE YOU BOTH!!! I've been watching a lot of America's Next Top Model. I just needed to laugh over all the DRAMA that is taking place. There is so much drama...it is crazy! I'm still watching it and I've been laughing even more in this episode. It is all of one season in one day. Anyway this week hopefully will be better. I've got a migraine today that won't go away but I stayed up anyway. Well I'm going to go work on my writing. Talk to you all later!

Apologies

I want to apologize to those that read my second to last blog. I have been told and rightly so that I was wrong to be so angry. My parents and I should have all known to have a back up to anything on our computer but we didn't think wisely and now we are paying for that in the loss of our family pictures and our works of writing. It was not the computer guys fault though he is trying now to get the information he said he would. I was just really mad but I should not have let it affect me as it did. So I'm apologizing to any that were offended or think that I was in the wrong for my words that time.

Thank you JESUS!!!! I have my novel! It has been stored for I don't know how long on my USB port or whatever its called. I also found the notebook that has the timeline that I created in it. So I can get what I don't have there again. Since what I recovered from that little carry thing is not all that I had written it is most of it so I'm a little less stressed...but still really mad because all my poetry and other writings and all our family photos and photos of the puppies and everything is all gone....so the computer guy won't be receiving any thanks or forgiveness from me just yet. Harsh maybe but true.

TICKED OFF!!!!

Hello everyone! As I mentioned in my last entry we have had some computer difficulties. As in our computer crashed. So we sent it to a guy that said he would retrieve our files, writings photos music etc...and then install a new harddrive while he installed the new hard drive but forgot the other stuff that he said he would save for us. THat means that all my writing and my novel that I've been working on for years is gone. If he does not have it somewhere in his shop and get it to us I am going to be extremely mad. Not just a little mad no very very pissed off. I'm sorry I should be nicer but he said that he would be able to save our files but he didn't! And we paid him to not only add the new harddrive but to save everything and so if he doesn't have the stuff he better give us some of our money back! Alright that is my rant. Now to see if I can't somehow discover where my origninal notebooks of my stories have gone to. Brandi that also means the Tansia story is on hold since I don't know where the notebook with that is either and hence I don't have what I had written. So it will be a while before you have something to read over for me. Please excuse me while I go steam in silence...

computer malfunction

Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. We have had a computer malfunction at home. The computer crashed. So I am currently at the Library using their computer while doing some research at the same time for a story. Things have been alright in my life but for the fact that one of my Great-Uncles passed away while my parents were gone. They were able to stay in Rockford for the funeral but I wasn't able to say goodbye to a great man. I miss him. He died from cancer. He was a life long strong Cardinals fan. I was able to attend a game with him and his wife this past summer when we all got together for the family reunion. Then a few months later he was diagnosed with cancer and then he quickly succumb to the disease. From what I gather from my mom his wife is struggling with the loss which is perfectly understandable. You could see at the reunion that they were still as much as in love as ever. Pray for her and his family, my grandfather on my mom's side was his brother. This is a hard time for us because we loved him dearly. Sorry that I haven't written much but I'm running low on time on the computer and I have more research that I need to do. Talk to you all later.

new looks

I found another site that is amusing and helpful in my writing. It is a makeover website, http://www.dailymakeover.com/makeover/virtualMakeover, it is fun to play around and it helps me figure out the coloring and face shape that I want to use for a character. I also am using it to try and figure out what I want to do with my hair. I love it long and still want to grow it out even longer but I would like to do something to spice up my style so I've been playing around on the site.

Now on to other things. In two days my parents will be heading to Chicago without me. My dad is going to be attending the Midwinter conference and I will be left here with the dogs for company. Now I'm not saying that is entirely a bad thing but I had really wanted to go to Chicago with my parents so that I could see my friends there. We just can't afford to put the dogs in the kennel for that long. Anyway I'll have to figure out something fun to do while my parents are away...and I'll have to do it around taking care of the animals...can't forget about cinnamonbuns our bunny. Well I hope that you all have a nice weekend. Take care!

found a new fun site!

Bonjour mes amis ! Je vous manque tout !

In English that means Hello my friends! I miss you all!

I found this website today to help me with my stories, I have a character that was born and raised french but living in the US. And though I have a small understanding I needed help to be believable in writing. So I looked to translation websites and found this one. http://www.freetranslation.com/ it is a wonderful site and very helpful. It won't just translate french and english back and forth but it will translate several other languages as well. It may be a little bit cheating but hey whatever works I think.

memories with fire

I had an interesting experience today. I went to light a match to light a candle for my mom and after I had struck the match on the box and it took flame the match broke dropping the burning part to the carpet! Luckily I was able to get the match and blow out the flame before too much damage was done. My mom was sitting there watching as it happened and said that she guessed I didn't need Heidi there to help me burn down the house. It was from an incident with one of my best childhood friends and a burning paper plate. If you want the details ask. But I still smile and laugh at how stupid we were to have candles and paper plates so near each other we burnt a mark into the tile of the bathroom floor. This time there is only a few fibers that will need trimmed to get rid of the melted carpet part. But it made me think of how quick a fire could spread. How we are supposed to be on fire for God. We are to spread that fire through our actions catching others on fire for God as well. Now I'm not saying take a match and light someone on fire that would be wrong...I'm saying go out and show others the wonder that is God and light a fire under them so that they are desperate to find what that wonder is and how they can have it for themselves.

stories to tell

There are so many stories running around in my head. Sometimes I'm confused which one I'm working on. I have four different stories in notebooks and more on the computer. I have one's with elves, one's with romances, ones with both elves and romances. I think my favorite thing to write is an elven romance. Usually like I said before in a post I tend to write with abuse as the beginning and the rescue of the person that was abused. I"m doing my best though to write one where the person isn't abused so badly. Maybe a little verbal. I think that is how I get out my feelings about what happened in the past. I was verbally abused in a relationship and though it was a few times physical it was mostly vocal. It was no where near as bad as what happens in my stories. And it does bring some spice to a story on how the person recovers from what happened and how God supplies the strength to go on after something like that happened. Things happen in life. Some people write the happy things some people let the evil out. But it is getting late here and I need to sleep and the puppies are getting restless.

migraines

Migraines suck big time! I've had one all day that just won't go away! I've taken two of my migraine meds and it still won't leave. the med sad that I could take it every hour but it makes me sleep so much. I slept until after 7pm today because of that med so i don't want to take another until i'm ready to go to bed. Which will probably be soon. The writers block is still in place but with this migraine i don't really care that it is. I don't feel like writing a story. I will work on them tomorrow with luck this will be gone then...Without luck it will last the rest of the week and then some like others have. I pray that it doesn't I hate the pain of migraines and the way that I have no appitite or anything. Even though I've eaten I don't really feel hungry because of the pain. Sometimes things are crazy in my life. I should be able to work out, and work, like a normal person but I'm not normal. Sometimes I feel like a freak because of all my illnesses and stuff...I probably shouldn't write that here where people can read it but its true. If wishes were fishes we'd walk on the sea...or something like that...can't think clearly because of this migraine...

writers block

Have any of you tried to write something and encountered the famous writers block? Well I've had the block in place on one of my stories for almost 3 years. I have other stories in the process but the one that I've been most encouraged by others on I'm stuck. Now most wouldn't think that would be so bad but I want to be able to finish this story. I want to finish at least one of the stories...a lot of them are only one the beginning legs of the stories. We'll see if they ever amount to anything. One of my greatest dreams is to be published either for my writing or my poetry. But so far that won't happen unless I can get past this dreaded writers block! I've been sitting here at the computer for about twenty minutes and been unable to write anything but what I'm writing here. We'll see if that doesn't change. After all my true preference is to write it out long-hand then type it up. So I'll take time away from the computer, brush the dogs as I was asked to by my mom, then try to write. If I can't write then I'll just read sometimes I get inspired by doing that. Well I hope everyone has a blessed day and night. Stay warm!

Curious....

Curious...I seem to always start my stories with some sort of abuse victim. I think I will try writing something that doesn't have that. I've never personally gone through the abuse that the victims have which makes it even stranger that I would write stories with that as the main character...There are a few where that hasn't happened but it is rare for me to have that be that way. Yes it is good for a dramatic story. But it is still strange that that is my main character quiet often. Hopefully I can figure something out where it is still a good story but not as dramatic abuse wise. We will see. Anyone have any ideas what the story should be about?

Crisis!

Okay so today we had a small crisis, it seemed really big at the time though. I put the dogs outside to take care of their thing and they decided a run through the neighborhood was in the agenda. They got over the fence and took off. Well I should say that two of them got over the fence and took off the third got her paw caught in between the fence and the grill where they escaped and has a cut from the incident on her paw. It was over two hours before the escapies were located and it was thanks to a nice man and his daughter that spotted them. They couldn't get them into their vehicle, they don't like cars that much, and so the father and daughter duo came and told us where they were and my dad and I were off to the rescue. We were so worried that we were never going to see them again or that we would get a call that they had been found but were dead from being hit by a car. It was not a fun time. Add to that the freezing temperatures, -14 plus wind chill at 10:30am so at 7pm or so it had to be much colder than that. BUt they are home safe and sound with narry a problem. We will definately not be letting them loose in the yard when they are put out even with the slight fence that we do have. We aren't taking the chance again. It was too nerve racking. It took two hours before we found them. We drove we walked we yelled a lot...we just couldn't find them without help. I prayed like crazy that was for sure. Anyway I hope that the New Year has started well for you. Take care everyone!